The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
Oh, ow! Now, look here, my good man. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Sets The Cinema Back 900 Years!
Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! I am your king. Burn her! And the hat. She's a witch!

It's only a model.
Oh, ow!
What a strange person
You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! The nose? Shut up! Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

I'm not dead!
What a strange person. Where'd you get the coconuts? Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Did you dress her up like this?
It's only a model.
Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur
Burn her anyway! Where'd you get the coconuts? I'm not a witch.

What… is your quest?
It's only a model. You don't vote for kings. Well, how'd you become king, then? Shut up! Will you shut up?! She looks like one.

I am your king. Well, I didn't vote for you. Now, look here, my good man. We found them. We want a shrubbery!!

But you are dressed as one… The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. I dunno. Must be a king. What do you mean? Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

I am your king. How do you know she is a witch? Camelot!

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. The nose? Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Oh, ow! Well, how'd you become king, then?

Who's that then? Bring her forward! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! I am your king. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!

You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! Where'd you get the coconuts? And this isn't my nose. This is a false one. You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Oh, ow!

We found them. And the hat. She's a witch! We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shut up!

He hasn't got shit all over him. Why do you think that she is a witch? Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! It's only a model. I'm not a witch. Burn her anyway!

And the hat. She's a witch! Who's that then? I'm not a witch.

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. A newt? I dunno. Must be a king. Burn her anyway! But you are dressed as one… The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

…Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Bring her forward! Oh, ow!

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Camelot! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. And the hat. She's a witch! We want a shrubbery!! …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

How do you know she is a witch? Look, my liege! I'm not a witch.

Why do you think that she is a witch? The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Oh, ow! Where'd you get the coconuts?

We want a shrubbery!!
You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Now, look here, my good man. Oh, ow! He hasn't got shit all over him. It's only a model. Now, look here, my good man.

Sir Lancelot
But you are dressed as one… Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Oh, ow! Well, I didn't vote for you.

But you are dressed as one…
Oh, ow!
The nose?
Sets The Cinema Back 900 Years!
We want a shrubbery!! And this isn't my nose. This is a false one. You don't vote for kings. He hasn't got shit all over him. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Oh, ow! And the hat. She's a witch! You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

Oh, ow!
Well, how'd you become king, then?
We want a shrubbery!!
Where'd you get the coconuts? I am your king. Did you dress her up like this? Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! I'm not a witch.

What… is your quest?
I'm not a witch. You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! Shut up! Will you shut up?!

Burn her anyway! And the hat. She's a witch! A newt? Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. The nose?

Where'd you get the coconuts? Camelot! But you are dressed as one…

The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. And the hat. She's a witch! …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Who's that then? How do you know she is a witch? Why do you think that she is a witch?

She looks like one. The nose? Bring her forward! The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Oh, ow! Burn her anyway!

Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! The nose? We found them. Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! But you are dressed as one…

Look, my liege! I dunno. Must be a king. Shut up!

We found them. And the hat. She's a witch! Where'd you get the coconuts? I'm not a witch. And the hat. She's a witch! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart.

We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? I dunno. Must be a king.

Shut up! How do you know she is a witch? Bring her forward!

Bring her forward! She looks like one. I am your king. Camelot! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart.

Well, how'd you become king, then? Camelot! I'm not a witch. Well, how'd you become king, then? What a strange person.

Burn her! I am your king. Well, I got better. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Where'd you get the coconuts?

It's only a model. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! We want a shrubbery!!

Am I right?
Well, how'd you become king, then? He hasn't got shit all over him. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. I dunno. Must be a king.

Bridgekeeper
Burn her anyway! Where'd you get the coconuts? Shut up! Will you shut up?! Now, look here, my good man.

And the hat. She's a witch!
Where'd you get the coconuts?
But you are dressed as one…
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
The nose? What do you mean? But you are dressed as one… Who's that then?

What a strange person
But you are dressed as one… Why do you think that she is a witch? Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Look, my liege!

I dunno. Must be a king.
Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Shut up!
Burn her anyway!
We want a shrubbery!!
Where'd you get the coconuts? …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? I am your king. Oh, ow!

We want a shrubbery!!
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! I'm not a witch. She looks like one. Camelot! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed! She looks like one.

Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Camelot! I am your king. Shut up! Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Camelot!

We want a shrubbery!! She looks like one. You don't vote for kings. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Bring her forward!

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. Oh, ow! Camelot! Burn her! Bring her forward!

We shall say 'Ni' again to you, if you do not appease us. Did you dress her up like this? The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Well, how'd you become king, then? We found them. Why do you think that she is a witch?

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart. And the hat. She's a witch! I'm not a witch.

And the hat. She's a witch! I dunno. Must be a king. I'm not a witch. It's only a model.

And the hat. She's a witch! You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! What a strange person.

And this isn't my nose. This is a false one. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? We found them. How do you know she is a witch? And the hat. She's a witch! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she's got a wart.

Who's that then? Where'd you get the coconuts? Oh, ow!

Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! A newt? Burn her anyway! We want a shrubbery!! But you are dressed as one… Well, I got better.

Shut up! The nose? Well, Mercia's a temperate zone! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Bring her forward!

I'm not a witch. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical! Where'd you get the coconuts? He hasn't got shit all over him.

Oh, ow! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn't vote for you.

The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. Burn her anyway! It's only a model.

--------
Scene 33

 
      [clop clop whinny]
  KNIGHT:  They're nervous, sire.
  ARTHUR:  Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.  Dis-mount!
  TIM:  Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
  ARTHUR:  Right!  Keep me covered.
  KNIGHT:  What with?
  ARTHUR:  Just keep me covered.
  TIM:  Too late!
      [chord]
  ARTHUR:  What?
  TIM:  There he is!
  ARTHUR:  Where?
  TIM:  There!
  ARTHUR:  What, behind the rabbit?
  TIM:  It is the {{ spam }}!
  ARTHUR:  You silly sod!  You got us all worked up!
  TIM:  Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.  That's the most foul, cruel,
      and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
  ROBIN:  You tit!  I soiled my armor I was so scared!
  TIM:  Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a
      killer!
  KNIGHT:  Get stuffed!
  TIM:  It'll do you a trick, mate!
  KNIGHT:  Oh, yeah?
  ROBIN:  You mangy Scot git!
  TIM:  I'm warning you!
  ROBIN:  What's he do, nibble your bum?
  TIM:  He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
  ARTHUR:  Go on, Boris.  Chop his head off!
  BORIS:  Right!  Silly little bleeder.  One rabbit stew comin' right up!
  TIM:  Look!
      [squeak]
  BORIS:  Aaaugh!
      [chord]
  ARTHUR:  Jesus Christ!
  TIM:  I warned you!
  ROBIN:  I peed again!
  TIM:  I warned you!  But did you listen to me?  Oh, no, you knew it all,
      didn't you?  Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?  Well,
      it's always the same,  I always--
  ARTHUR:  Oh, shut up!
  TIM:  --But do they listen to me?--
  ARTHUR:  Right!
  TIM:  -Oh, no--
  KNIGHTS:  Charge!
      [squeak squeak]
  KNIGHTS:  Aaaaugh!  Aaaugh! etc.
  KNIGHTS:  Run away!  Run away!
  TIM:  Haw haw haw.  Haw haw haw.  Haw haw.
  ARTHUR:  Right.  How many did we lose?
  KNIGHT:  Gawain.
  KNIGHT:  Hector.
  ARTHUR:  And Boris.  That's five.
  GALAHAD:  Three, sir.
  ARTHUR:  Three.  Three.  And we'd better not risk another frontal
      assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
  ROBIN:  Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
  ARTHUR:  Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
  GALAHAD:  Let us taunt it!  It may become so cross that it will make
      a mistake.
  ARTHUR:  Like what?
  GALAHAD:  Well,....
  ARTHUR:  Have we got bows?
  KNIGHT:  No.
  LAUNCELOT:  We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
  ARTHUR:  Yes, of course!  The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!  'Tis one
      of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him!  Brother Maynard!
      Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
      [singing]
      How does it, uh... how does it work?
  KNIGHT:  I know not, my liege.
  ARTHUR:  Consult the Book of Armaments!
  MAYNARD:  Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
  BROTHER:  "And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
      'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
      thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'  And the Lord did grin, and
      people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
      and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"
  MAYNARD:  Skip a bit, Brother.
  BROTHER:  "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
      Holy Pin.  Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.  Three
      shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
      shalt be three.  Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
      excepting that thou then proceed to three.  Five is right out.  Once
      the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
      thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
      in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
  MAYNARD:  Amen.
  ALL:  Amen.
  ARTHUR:  Right!  One... two... five!
  KNIGHT:  Three, sir!
  ARTHUR:  Three!
      [boom]
