Scene 36

 
  ARTHUR:  Launcelot!  Launcelot!  Launcelot!
  BEDEMIR:  Launcelot!  Launcelot!
  ARTHUR:  Launcelot!  Launcelot!
  BEDEMIR:  Launcelot!  Launcelot!
      [angels singing]
  ARTHUR:  The Castle Aggh.  Our quest is at an end!  God be praised!
      Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast [something] safe
      [something] the most-
      [twong  baaaa]
      Jesus Christ!
  GUARD:  'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who
      is afraid of a duck, you know!  So, we French fellows out-wit you a
      second time!
  ARTHUR:  How dare you profane this place with your presence!?  I command
      you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of this
      sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
  GUARD:  How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in your
      direction, sons of a window-dresser!  So, you think you could
      out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
      advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
      heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.
  ARTHUR:  In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred
      castle!
  GUARD:  No chance, English bedwetting types.  I burst my pimples at you
      and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing.  You tiny-brained
      wipers of other people's bottoms!
  ARTHUR:  If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle by
      force!
      [splat]
      In the name of God and the glory of our--
      [splat]
      Right!  That settles it!
  GUARD:  Yes, this time and try
      any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads
      and make castanets out of your testicles already!  Ha ha!
  ARTHUR:  Walk away.  Just ignore them.
  GUARD:  No, remain you illegitimate faced buggerfuls!  And, if you think
      you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet!  Daffy
      English kaniggets!  Thpppt!
  ARTHUR:  We shall attack at once!
  BEDEMIR:  Yes, my liege!
  ARTHUR:  Stand by for attack!
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